Distortion

I decided to give acrylic paint a go instead of painting with oils which I have always done. There are some perks to working with acrylic paint that I like. A; it's cheaper. B; it isn't toxic. My studio isn't properly vented and is also attached to my bedroom where I sleep, so painting with oils in there isn't such a good idea. The draw back to acrylic though for me is that it isn't as malleable as oil.. you need a retarder or some other kind of added medium to make it easier to work with. Its really very different than oil, and this whole painting was really just a chance for me to learn how to work with it.. and near the end I started to figure out more and more things out about it. I still prefer oil, but maybe if i keep practicing I'll eventually like both.

Something I often do to help me plan for the colour scheme in a painting is experiment in some kind of paint program on the computer. That way I can see if colours are going to go well together and how they compliment the composition as a whole. I went real colour happy on this one from what I normally produce, and I'm not super keen on the end result but it's okay. I learned something... and I just watched fantasia. C'mon.

the solicitor

I've been enjoying working a little different lately with graphite, doing some experiments in my sketchbook. I feel like a whole new world has just opened up for me! I think this is going to be a fun new year in terms of artwork. I've bought a whole tub of powdered graphite, new sketchbooks, colour pencils, erasers, paper, etc... ohh yesss. My whole workspace is covered in a light film of graphite, as well as my hands. beautifully dirty.
These are from a 8.25 x 5 moleskin sketchbook, so I'm really excited now to try and up scale my drawings onto something larger.

Also, something new, I've started a Tumblr specifically for posting artwork. It's more strictly about just the artwork itself, whereas on here it's more personal and about my experiences, etc. I will also be writing a little more about the concepts on my work on there, which i know people sometimes are curious to know. So please FOLLOW me, because I know you're all closet hipster's and have a tumblr account.

cupid

When I started this piece I was so high on enthusiasm. It's like that strange addiction people can have to nostalgia.. breathing in those toxic oil paint fumes.. its heaven. It turned out just as I was hoping it would. I've had horrible experiences trying to work with colour before because I just don't yet have that familiarity of how it works yet.. but it's getting better.

Like the first time I painted the ocean. Ocean's blue right? My mind instantly categorized colours instead of actually looking at it on it's own. You can't look at what you're drawing or painting as if it is what it is.. because then you'll have pre-conceivced notions of what it should look like and not draw what it actually looks like. Therefore my ocean was the most synthetic primary blue imaginable. When my grade 12 teacher pointed out my mistake it was like a really begrudging light bulb turned on.. and after some grumbling and muttering about stupid paint I accepted my mistake.

Constructive criticism... I'd be no where without it. Thank you to all the people who have torn a tiny piece of my heart out and stepped on it. It's a difficult lesson to learn, to not cherish your work too deeply. You put so much time and thought and effort into a piece, and then if someone comes along and doesn't like it... it's like walking up to a mother and saying "Your child is ugly". It may be true but it hurts when they criticize your baby like that. You have to learn to not get too attached so that you can leave room to grow and change.

....but this piece is much too precious to me, so don't you dare criticize it. 

Oil on wood, 12 x 12

Portrait of my beau. :)

God Jul

Merry Christmas! or in Swedish, God Jul!

Oil painting on wood.
Yes, I am one of those second generation kids who are exhaustively patriotic to a country they can't even speak the language of... it doesn't matter. ssshhh. Now that Christmas has past I can publicly post a couple things I've been doing.. I like to give handmade gifts, so a lot of my paintings I've been making were for close friends and family.

aloevera

practice, practice, practice.

I found some tiny canvases in my stash last week, and decided to work some more on painting. I was really stoked about it and I wanted to try something totally different from what I'm used to musing over. My intentions were to paint in a really messy relaxed style.. and some how I just couldn't let myself do that. I kept trying to blend everything in smoothly and then I'd get mad at my brain. I think the you need to learn the rules and perfect the skill before you can start breaking the rules and painting in more experimental techniques and styles. I tried to mess with the contrast and exposure as well, because if you look you can see its not uniform throughout the whole piece... her pupils being barely black yet the chair falling totally into shadow. I don't know if it just looks like I've done a bad job or if it's cool.. haha. I've seen it done so well before in some paintings and it's a really nice effect.

Also, canvas... i hate it. How is this still an acceptable surface for painting? It's so textured and difficult and distorting.. I much prefer smooth surfaces where you can just push the paint around and it glides like butter. Mmmmm.

This is oil on a 8 x 8 canvas

sketchbook paints

Oil paints are my friends, acrylic paints are my acquaintances, and water colours are those babbling drunk people on the skytrain that you don't understand, don't want to understand and hope get off at the next stop. I've put some effort though into trying to understand acrylics  this past week. I did some small paintings in one of my sketch books for exercise, which was great fun, but I still find the paint kind of a pain. It dries so fast and had no lucidity, so I'm going to get some acrylic medium like most people suggest. It's now turning into that friend that you only hang out with when accompanied with that other friend....... maybe I'm taking the metaphor too far.

they're from my 3.5 x 5.5 sketchbook, each finished in 45-60 minutes.

Female Figure

Recently I had a small little.. discovery. It turns out I'm really not that far off from living up to my stereotype. I sat down in the driver's seat of my car and looked around.. it's a mess. There is wax stuck to my dash, coins, crumpled recipts, towels, shoes, bags, blankets, canned tuna, cords, dog treats, and plain old dirt. Dirty dirty dirt. Dirt: soil, sand, dead leaves, pine needles, pebbles, boogers (you weren't looking so I went for it). I sat down at my desk in my room and looked around.. it's a mess. Pens & pencils every where, over flowing garbage cans, dirty laundry, clean laundry, not dirty quite yet laundry, this little knick knack I didn't want to throw away, camera equipment, paint palettes, those thingys I decided I'd start collecting but don't collect anymore.. and I must sensor the rest. Holy cow... I'm a slob. I cannot keep a space clean, it's a difficult reality to accept. I can be exceptionally moody. My family can vouch for this or anyone whose had the pleasure of spending hours and hours of time with me. I can go on about vague airy ideas involving colours, "Those paintbrush strokes pour depth into my soul" and boring trite things become monumentally fascinating.

Typically artists are stereotyped as moody, messy, and sometimes a little eccentric. Kind of  like how accountants are stereotyped as nerdy and socially inept or actors as egotistical and extraverted. We laugh at the preconceived ideas and prod people with them in jest but never seriously believing that they have any weight of truth behind them. In fact when they are exercised as being facts, its on the verge of becoming one of the 'ists' (sexist, racist, etc) and people get offended by your lack of education.. because that's what people say now-a-days if you don't agree with their views. Now of course I'd never compare labelling oppression with the history of racism or sexism, but it does exist on it's own as a low sub category of discrimination in society. Those dirty hippies. So a long time ago when someone said to me after learning I was an artist "Oh, you must hate sports then." I naturally had to ask them to repeat themselves because I didn't understand the relevance of it at all. My pride puffed up and I immediately became agitated... until now. When I realized thinking about it.. I don't really like sports. I don't watch them and I don't play them. Other than volley ball and nice hiking I don't involve myself in any other kind..... oops.

Anyway, I guess secretly I'm a little stoked to fit so well into my role... and that maybe magically this will make me a better Artist. I shall now go do something unlogical and crazy.

 

This is just a drawing from my little 3.5 x 5.5 moleskin that I drew for exercise. Soon hopefully I'll be doing some real figure drawing classes again. Yay! Gonna get fit.. artistically.

the state of perfection

I was chastised by an artist this week when I told her I left art school because I was worried about the prospects of being able to financially support myself with a job doing art. She then proceeded to name numerous jobs in which the key training is art. She herself is an oil painter by profession (Nicola Wheston) and an extremely encouraging and insightful person to converse with. It made me think just how nasty insecurity is and how it can really harm you if you let it have control. Also just how dramatically important it is to have people who support you in your life.  Everyone once in a while you meet those people who kind of smile and nod their head when you tell them you're "an aspiring artist" like they're indulging a child with unobtainable fantasy. It is a very romanticized idea being an "Artist", especially in todays youth culture where half my generation is proclaiming to be an artist of some kind. I'm not trying to hate on or discourage people from pursuing their artistic development, but sometimes I feel the titles Art and Artist are abused.

This is a video I recorded in the beginning of the year, because I like making speed videos of my drawings. I hope you enjoy... I have no idea what i did with this drawing. I'll have to search around for it sometime. (state of perfection is the title of the piece.. not a fact about the drawing itself, hahah. I hope that's understandable.)

I was a vendor at my first market last week, and keeping in mind my total lack of experience in this realm of anesthetically pleasing displays, it was quite the success and a really fun time! I had the opportunity to talk with other artists and crafty people there! A big thanks to Rachel & Jasmine for inviting me out to Victoria for the day!

sketch book

I know you perhaps have seen these before, because their old sketches, but I feel like i need something for you to look at in every post... i couldn't just post a bunch of words! Who does that? Gross.

I've been extra busy these past couple weeks because I am so flattered to have the opportunity this Saturday to have a table at the United Eclectic market for young emerging artists in Victoria. So I've been drawing up lots of little good things to try and sell which include beer cap magnets, magnets, cards, art cards, some prints and a painting or two.

So working over time to make this a success, and marinating in my happiness.

what lies inside

Mmm, feels good to do large pieces again. I love being able to work up close with a work like that and really get into details.

I really need to get photoshop or some other program more sophisticated than PhotoStudio. haha. Yeah it's pretty lame trying to work with anything on there. This piece is approximately 26 x 10 in. and took a multiple amount of scans on my little 9 x 12 in. scanner which i then puzzled together in... photostudio. yay.

I realized that I've been sticking to a distinct style and technique as of late, which is cool, because i have a lot to learn about drawing and linework still. However I'd like to try be more broad in my choice of medium and palette.. I've been eyeing my oil pastels on my shelf.. but my oil paints have also been looking especially enticing. Who knows.

gold

How many people can relate to being guilty of starting something and then never seeing it through 'til the end. Probably most people, right? or at least that's what i like to console myself with. The endless amount of half painted canvas' and unfinished drawings i have stored away and piled up in secret corner's in my room is embarrassing... but i conquered a drawing today.. and finished it. such a beautiful thing.

Sometimes I will have a premeditated idea of what i want my finished piece to look like, and other times i have no idea and i just start in a small area and build. When i look back on drawing's though the one's that i've sketched out rough copies and made thumbnails for are always significantly more..... pleasing. Sounds pretty stupidly obvious, I know, but i just never wanted to believe my art teacher's when they'd force us to plan ahead. I always assumed it was because they were cruel natured and just wanted to spite us with meaningless toil. Seems legit, right?

From now on, I'm gonna be the artist with a plan!

bow & arrow

So i think it's been pretty obvious that my life style can't uphold this creating one drawing per week deal, so I am shamelessly changing it to just.. my art blog. and I'm okay with that. I just barely breeched this subject in my last post, but I was so rushed, I literally hit 'post' and walked out the door to the airport. I kind of felt before hand that creating an art blog was such a egotistical thing to do, because it is essentially. However as an artist if I can't share what I'm doing with others then art it obsolete, and I realized how utterly stupid I am. Yes i still gain personal satisfaction from the actual task of drawing and the pleasure of accomplishment when it's finished, but that's not what creates the lasting emotion of being satisfied. "Happiness is only real when shared." Experiences are always more enjoyable when you have someone to share that with. We are social creatures, and we're not meant to be alone.. but that's a different topic. So it's kind of a necessity for me to complete the process and be able to share these things I draw with you. I'm basically giving myself a pep talk here and reassuring myself on the initial foundation on which i created this blog so I don't have to feel guilty about failing it's face valued motives.

I didn't really have a plan when I started drawing this, except that I knew it was going to have a bow and arrow.. because I had drawn something on a whim on a someone's hand that was generally the same idea.. because I draw on a lot of my friends hands. haha. It was hard to know when I was finished, because the thing with not having a plan it that you really don't have an end goal, you just sort of keep going until something looks right. My eyes get a little confused looking at this piece. There isn't a lot of connection between all the different elements that make up the picture anesthetically.. but it's abstract so no there is no right or wrong. win! Starting on my next one right now.... mmhmm.

my mind holds the key

So I'm basically slapping this up online as I run out the door, because it's either now or a week from now which is way too far away. I've been dabbling far too long on this piece for it's relative simplicity. There is just always room for more dots. I've taken quite a keen liking to the stipple technique, but I think it works best in larger scale pieces, so I plan on doing a large scale drawing sometime.. tape it up on my wall like old times. and then swear at it while trying to scan it in 11 x 8.5 inches at a time and cutting it together in photoshop. It puts such a damper on drawing big.

I love this blog. I am so glad I decided to create it, and had friends who encouraged me to do so. Even though I've sorely failed at my once a week goal, it's so nice to have pressure to draw.. other wise I don't know when I would make the time for it.

control

hi.

do I even give an excuse or should I just pretend nothing's amiss. I prefer the latter.

wow, there's not a lot I feel like I can say about this piece..

i know I'm really selfish when it comes to talking about meaning's behind the imagery, but the title makes it quite self explanatory. No one experiences an image the same way, there are just general directions but the details are all relative.

This image pulls from a multitude of different artistry styles and genres. I've been browsing through so many print work illustrations from old books, some japanese anime ink work, and lots of tattoos. And so many death metal bands have the most amazing album artwork.. it deceives you into thinking their music is good too. not true.

embroidery

I was working on a painting of this exact picture with some acrylic paint, and well... I'd rather not talk about it and pretend I never attempted. I have a lot to learn about colours... so here is the sketch of it instead from my little moleskin. hence the book spine across the middle. yep.

I wanted to shade the shadows in with lines that also mapped the shape of the subject, because I've seen so many awesome examples of it before in other artist's work.

I know this post is several days over due, but I just want you to know that it is in no way at all because I have lost the interest in what I am trying to do. I am still just as keen, but haven't had the time. pretty lame, but it's been a good busy not a bad busy kind of week.

doodle creatures

I've decided to go with quantity over quality today.
I feel like I'm cheating but then I remember hey, it's my project... I can make up whatever rules I want. and life is good again.

These are usually what I draw when I'm bored. you can find many of them in between my notes and on the back of random pamphlets or whatever paper I can get my hands on in a desperate hour of boredom. I usually try and not draw on things though when I'm listening to something/someone, because even though I say "I'm still listening" that's just not the case. I zone out when I draw, like actually. My mind does the weirdest things because you're focusing really hard, but... with a totally different part of your brain and the other part just doesn't know what to do with itself. I think doodling is a really healthy exercise for an artist though, because the skill of drawing the likeness of something tangible has nothing nothing to do with creativity. It's just a math, I seriously believe this. But doodling you have to create something totally new, based purely on the extent of what your mind can conjure up from your memories, the world around you... I don't even know how the human mind can be so inventive.. i can't. can't fathom.
keep doodling.

Underneath

I was 100% set on getting into some acrylic paints this week but time posed a bit of an issue. Instead I tried a drawing where my midtone wasn't the whiteness of the page but actually had to be shaded in, and it's amazing how much more control you can have.. That's the nice thing about drawing on paper that is already an off white or tan colour because you draw in your shadows and your highlights and creates a much more rounded dramatic effect. It's an easier way to make your image pop more from the page. (btw, I actually don't know anything, I just make up random rules and state them as facts... but it's all good.)

I would have liked to have spent more time on this one and on a bigger scale, it's about 11 x 8 which is really small and any blemishes can be easily picked out. but I'm so exhausted this week... I could barely cut my pork-chops I am so weak.. aah.

Wow, well.. today is the last day of January. that is one of twelve month's done. It's good, this has been nice.. maybe I'll bring out some paints next week. kay.

Angel

I'm trying to work on drawing cloth this week... it's my number one weak point. There doesn't seem to be a pattern to cloth that I've figured out, I remember someone telling me that there is like a whole set of laws when it comes to drawing drapery, and people have dedicated entire studies on it. screw it, it's hard...

I've been totally intoxicated this week looking at classical paintings, especially those from the pre-raphaelites. Most people either love or hate this genre of historical art.. it's very controlled and realistic, but I love fairytale's, fantasy, sci-fi, mythology and this imagery just feeds my imagination because history becomes instantly so real in the most insane way possible... and I always look at history as if it's just a story, and not actually grasping that, hey, these people and places were once actually physically here. You could touch them, and that's what I always want to do when I see a painting. The FIRST thing is I want to touch it.. nevermind all the signs commanding "Do Not Touch", and I'm always surprised to find it's just a canvas... such a crushing reality. Anyway I hope you can enjoy the small palette I added too.

On the top left is a piece called Campaspe by John William Godward, bottom right is Flaming June by Lord Frederick Leighton, and the bottom left is the Knight of the Holy Grail by Frederick J. Waugh. The top left painting is actually the cover art of a Bach album of violin concertos directed by Andrew Manze and I have been unable to find out who it's by, so if anyone knows I myself would be so stoked to find out.

fated to be

I can't say I've really worked with ink much, I hated it to death in school, because it's so very very different than my pencils. Scares me actually.. so this piece was a bit of an experiment... and a successful one I would say because I learned a great deal about it. I would write about it but I really doubt anyone would be very intrigued.

So stoked to hear that other people are picking up their pencils or brushes or whatever it is and creating too. I feel so honoured and excited to have inspired people to do something as well, even if it's just one drawing once. I love hearing about people's art or creative processing and seeing people drawing. The other day I was just drawing in the texture making tiny little lines everywhere for like 3 hours and having the time of my life... and I thought "wow, this is kind of sad" just how happy it made me to draw stupid little lines. People just have this built in hardwiring telling them to create, create, create and when we do it's so satisfying. I love making things. It was a pretty profound moment.

Swan

I just want to really sincerely thank everyone for the positive feedback.

You have no idea how much it means to me... so grateful to feel supported by such awesome people.

"Many are the victims she has brought down;

her slain are a mighty throng.

Her house is a highway to the grave,

leading down to the chambers of death."

Proverbs 7:26-27

Pride, it's such nuisance.

I almost didn't post this piece because of it... and so soon after my nice little speech.

Luckily I have an awesome sister who pointed out my cowardice, and how I would have been abolishing the entire reason why I started this blog one whole week ago. hah.

I had so much fun drawing this piece, and one week is the perfect time frame to start and finish a drawing, because I lose interest really easily with projects I start if they're not finished quickly. So many half painted canvases, it's so sad. I would have loved to have done this drawing as an acrylic painting, because of the light, but I love the simplicity of my pencil and pen too much.

And if you're upset by the swan dying... sorry about that.